


I'll Make A Million Mistakes (To the Moon and Back)

by orphan_account



Series: The Non-Chronological Chronicles of Pip & Theo [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mild Injuries, Modern AU, Pip is scared of needles bc he's a cinnamon roll, Tumblr Prompt, When raccoons attack, actually so much fluff, philtheo, vicious and fat raccoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:10:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6993907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this anonymous prompt:<br/>Person A gets attacked by a raccoon on Christmas morning and Person B has to take them to the hospital and then explain to Person A's family why they're going to be late and then they all have Christmas together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this was meant to be a short little one shot (emphasis on short) but I got carried away and this took me literal months to write no lie I hope you like it!
> 
> **
> 
> This is part of a brand new series I'm starting. It's just gonna be a fuckton of Philtheo one shots. Enjoy!

Theo sighed contentedly and burrowed into the crook of her boyfriend's arm as they stared at the tree and drank coffee. It was their first Christmas in the house they had bought together, and it had been especially nice.

"Shit, I forgot I left something in the car. Stay here, baby," said Philip, kissing the top of her head and throwing on a jacket over his t-shirt. The combination of warmth, too much breakfast, and quiet Christmas carols playing in the background nearly put her to sleep, but then she heard a shout from outside.

Curious, she walked to the front door and opened it, only to see Philip sprawled on the icy sidewalk, one of his legs bent at a strange angle, four thin scratches tracing their way from his temple to the dimple on the right side of his face.

"Jesus Christ, Philip! What happened?" He chuckled and tilted his head back as much as he could to look at her.

"Well, I wasn't looking where I was going, and tripped over a really fat raccoon. Then it attacked me and I slipped on the ice. And now I can't move my leg."

"Oh my god. Was it rabid?"

"Nah, it wasn't frothing."

"Okay then. Let me just get some shoes." She ducked back inside, put her coffee down on the mail table, and pulled on a pair of boots that were next to the door, before grabbing some keys and walking back out.

"We're taking your car, okay?" she said, crouching next to him. "More space." He nodded and gritted his teeth as he focused on standing on his right leg, his right arm wrapped around her shoulders.

They finally managed to make it to the car, Philip in the passenger seat pushed all the way back. The drive to the hospital was fairly uneventful, apart from Philip causing a bit of a commotion when he lashed his left arm out and snatched something that had been sitting on the center console. The sudden movement startled Theo, who nearly swerved the car.

Thankfully, the waiting room at the ER was fairly empty. As Philip was being examined, Theodosia realized that they were supposed to be spending Christmas with Philip's family, and that they would most definitely be late, seeing as they were due to arrive in ten minutes. She decided it would be best to send his sister a text, as they had been best friends for years, and Theo trusted her to deliver the message.

**[Theo] Gonna be late to Xmas. @ the hospital.**

**[Angie] Are you guys okay?**

**[Theo] Yeah, pretty much.**

**[Angie] Why are you at the hospital??**

**[Theo] Philip tripped on a raccoon.**

**[Angie] What the actual fuck?**

**[Theo] Hang on, gtg.**

**[Angie] *dramatic sigh***

 

"Angie?" asked Eliza. "What's so funny?" Angelica looked up from her phone to the room in which her large family was packed tight around the tree. "Phil and Theo are going to be late," she replied. "Because they're at the hospital. Apparently Philip tripped on a raccoon."

**

**[Angie] Entire family is laughing at Phil's derpyness.**

**[Theo] Tbh I would have laughed when it happened if I wasn't terrified that he was dead.**

**[Theo] What a fucking nerd.**

**

"Well Philip, I'm glad to say that you'll be fine. The right leg is broken, and you do have a very, very mild concussion, but other than that, you're in great condition. We did give you a rabies shot, because we found a bite on your right bicep, but there's nothing to be worried about. I'll just sign some papers and you can be on your way."

Theodosia thanked the doctor, who then exited. "You fucking clutz," she said, turning to Philip.

He chuckled. "Merry Christmas."

**

**[@Theo.Burr] Merry Chistmas. @Phil-up tripped on a raccoon and broke his leg.**

**

When Theo and Philip pulled up outside Alex and Eliza's house, quite a commotion went up from inside. PJ, Philip's youngest brother, burst out of the door.

"Phil," he called. "Mommy said a raccoon gave you a boo boo!" Philip chuckled and opened the door.

"Mommy was right," he said. "An evil raccoon attacked me, and now I have battle scars."

"That's awesome!" said PJ, eyes wide, as he helped Theo get presents from the back of the car and Phil grabbed his crutches.

They made their way into the house, where they were greeted by the noise of several people shouting all at once. After they had managed to make their way through the crowd, get the presents under the tree, and wedged themselves into a spot on the couch, they took in everyone around them.

There was Philip's parents, Alexander and Eliza; all seven of his siblings, Angie, Axl (short for Alexander), James, John, Will, Lizzie, and PJ; his dad's three best friends from college, John, Hercules, and Lafayette; their families; and his mom's two sisters, Angelica and Peggy.

"So, Pip," said Angie. "How did you come to trip on a raccoon?"

He chuckled. "We're doing this now? Okay, fine. Well, I was walking out to the car, when suddenly, I felt my foot go into something large and furry. Then, that large and furry thing jumped on me, scratched my face, bit my arm, and caused me to slip on the ice and fall weirdly on my leg and break it."

"Not only did the raccoon did that," added Theo. "But he also hit his head on the ice and got an extremely mild concussion. And he had to get a rabies shot, because who can ever tell with raccoons?"

At the mention of a shot, Philip's entire family cringed.

"Eee," said Axl. "You know how he is with shots."

"Okay, but that was when I was younger," protested Philip. "I'm over that now!"

"Except for when he got a shot through the torso," muttered James.

"He's really not over shots," said Theodosia, once the laughter died down. "He almost cried."

"Traitor!" Philip shouted over the laughter.

"Alright," said his dad, still smiling. "Let's exchange presents, now they're here."

In what seemed to be a choreographed motion, PJ and Lizzie rose and began distributing presents to everyone in the room.

After presents and Christmas supper, everyone retired to the living room, where there was a fire in the fireplace and lights twinkling on the tree. Theo was cuddled up in the crook of Philip's arm, just like that morning, before he broke his leg.

"One thing about your story didn't make sense," said Angie lazily to Philip from across the room, breaking the amicable silence. "Why were you going to your car in the first place?"

"I had to get a present from it," he replied.

"But, see, there wasn't an extra box in your car, and you weren't carrying a box when you fell. So, where's the present?"

Philip groaned. "You're really going to do this to me now? I'm injured! Concussed! Someone back me up!"

"I'm pretty curious as to what this so called 'present' is, myself," agreed Georges, Lafayette's son.

"C'mon, son. Share," teased Alexander, a smile on his face.

"Do you need me to tickle you?" asked Axl. "Because I absolutely will."

"Ugh, fine. I'll you show you guys why I had to go out to my car. I left something important in it and needed to get it because I was going to do something back at home, but then the stupid raccoon, and now my Christmas is ruined. And I can't even do this right because of my broken leg. And I'd like all of you to know that if there weren't small children present, I would be cursing."

"Stop stalling and get on with it!" laughed Angelica.

"Okay, fine." He removed his arm from around Theo's shoulders, leaned forwards, and took a small, black velvet box from his pocket. "I was going to propose at home because it would have been really romantic and nice, but no, we're here, and we both agreed a really long time ago that proposals in front of someone's family are really tacky and stupid, and also I don't want Theo to feel like she can't say no, because if she doesn't want to get married right now, that's okay, because I'm happy with the way our life is now, but see, if you guys are all over everywhere, she might feel pressured to say yes, and I only want her to say yes if she wants to say yes. Jesus Christ."

Everyone looked dumbstruck, but Theo was laughing. "It is just not your Christmas, huh? Of course I'll marry you, you doofus."

Philip chuckled and took the ring from the box, sliding it on Theo's finger, before they resumed their previous position on the couch.

"Damn Phil, that's a nice ring," observed Hercules. "Where'd you get the money for that?"

"Oh, uh, I didn't," he said, almost sheepishly. "When I went to ask Theo's dad for permission to propose, he pulled this out." Theo smiled, a little sadly, looking at the ring.

"I knew it looked familiar. It was my mom's." She turned to Philip. "My dad really likes you. Like, an insane amount."

"Are you kidding me?" he asked, bewildered. "He hates me. When he gave me the ring, he told me 'don't screw up the proposal.' But here we are." He shot a glare at Angie, who laughed evilly.

"He actually told me he likes you one time, no joke."

"When we were in college, he told me to talk less and smile more," said Alex.

"Advice I wish you took," muttered Angie, to much laughter. Alex made a face like he was about to protest, but John cut him off.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble he got it because he just talks and talks and talks? One time I nearly died, no joke."

"Several times, he almost died!" laughed Peggy.

"Yeah, and one of those times, Angelica nearly killed him," chuckled Lafayette.

"Oh no," said Alex.

"Oh no is right," said Angelica, fire blazing in her eyes. "If you think I'm not angry about that anymore, you've got another thing coming. I swear to god-"

The men all looked terrified, but Peggy was smiling, and Eliza was laughing. She rested a hand on her older sister's shoulder.

"It's fine, Angelica," she said easily. "What's done is done. Mistakes were definitely made, but people have been forgiven."

"I haven't forgiven," muttered Angelica, and her sisters laughed, but Alex looked even more terrified.

"I'm debating wether or not to hide," he said, and all the adults laughed.

"I'll give you a five minute head start," replied Angelica, and in that moment, it looked like he was about to bolt, but then Angelica began to laugh as well, and Alex's shoulders untensed.

Soon, all the adults were laughing, and all the kids were staring at each other, bewildered expressions on their faces.

"Pip?" asked PJ, clambering into his big brother's lap. "What's happening?"

"No one's really sure," Philip replied, his free arm encircling his little brother to ensure his safety.

"I'm a little scared," whispered the three-year-old. Unfortunately, he was not very good at whispering, so everyone heard it.

Once the laughter of the adults died down, James raised an eyebrow. "Would someone like to explain what is happening?" he asked.

"Basically, in college, I screwed up really bad," said Alex, wiping away tears of mirth. "And your Aunt Angelica came all the way from where she was living in London at the time to yell at me, which I needed. But then I screwed up in a...better way-" at this, Alexander flushed red, and John snorted. In his attempt to keep from laughing, he ended up coughing, and had to excuse himself. Eliza was also blushing, Hercules was hiding his face in his hands, shaking, Lafayette was crying tears of laughter, and Peggy and Angelica fell into each others' arms, laughing incredibly hard. "-Anyways," Alex continued. "Most people seemed to forgive me, but Angelica still harbors a small bit of resentment. Rightfully so, I must say," he added, upon seeing the look on his sister-in-law's face.

PJ yawned. "I didn't understand any of that. I think I'm too sleepy."

"Yeah, I think everyone is incredibly confused now," agreed Philip. "Anyways, it is waaaay past your bedtime, little man."

Alex looked at his watch. "Crap, it is." He started to stand, but Philip waved him off. "I can put him to bed."

"Uh, yeah, you have crutches," said Theo. "I got him. Peej, want a piggyback ride?" He nodded, rubbed his eyes, and climbed up on the arm of the couch. Theo stood, stepped over Philip's outstretched legs, and crouched, her back to PJ. He eagerly wrapped his arms around her neck and jumped, his legs encircling her waist and her hands holding on tight.

They started up the stairs, PJ giggling as Theo made sound effects. The sight gave Philip a warm feeling that started in his core and spread through his body. Angie stood, holding a sleeping Lizzie.

"Lizzie fell asleep. I'm gonna take her to bed."

**

Once Theo had gotten PJ out of his bowtie and sweater vest and into his pajamas, she tucked him in to his blue sheets that were adorned with dinosaurs.

"Theo?" he asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes with his little fists. "Are you and Phil gonna get married soon?"

"I hope so," she said, pushing his hair out of his face.

"Tomorrow?" She chuckled. "I don't think that soon."

"Oh. Okay. Night, Theo."

"Good night, PJ. Merry Christmas." She kissed his forehead and left his room, closing the door behind her. Standing in the hallway was Angie, arms crossed, a smile on her face.

"You're getting married!" she whisper-shouted, and Theo broke out into a huge grin.

"Oh my god, I know!"

"Let me see the ring!" Angie practically ripped Theo's arm off in an attempt to get a better look. There were a few moments of silent fangirling, before they made their way back downstairs.

**

It was about midnight. Alex's friends had cleared out some time ago, leaving what Peggy affectionately referred to as "the fam."

"Alright," said Alex. "We got one kid down, seven to go."

"What are you even talking about?" asked Eliza.

"One of our eight children is secure in their romantic endeavors."

"You're so weird, dad," said Angie, kicking her legs up onto John's lap. He rested his forearms on her shins. "Anyways, I do not have a gentleman caller at the moment."

"I'm too ace to date people," said Axl.

"Nah," John said casually, leaning his head back over the top of the couch. "But Peej told me he has a girlfriend."

"Yeah, PJ is three. Something tells me it isn't that serious," said Philip. "How about you, Jamie?" James didn't look up from the drawing of a rabid raccoon he was making on Philip's cast, but blushed.

"Awww, Jamie," said Will, who was barely awake. "You have a boyfriend? Who is it?"

"He's a friend of my roommate, and that's all I'm saying about him."

"I'm calling Richie," said Philip, whipping out his phone. "You're roommates with his brother, right?"

"You do that, and meanwhile, I'll turn this raccoon into a giant dick," shot back James. Slowly, Philip put his phone down. James cackled. "Now you're my bitch."

"Calm down, boy," said John. "We all know Peggy's your idol. You're her bitch."

"Ily Peggy!" James said, turning to her, an adoring smile on his face.

"Make me a sandwich, bitch," Peggy replied, impassive. "I swear to god, he's considering it," laughed Angie.

"Remember when Peggy was my bitch?" asked Alex. "Those were the days."

"I wasn't your bitch, bitch. We were bros."

"You literally treated him like he was your diary," Angelica said casually. "Don't kid yourself."

"I feel like this has been the Christmas of sharing," John observed.

"Absolutely," agreed Philip. "Speaking of sharing, what was this better way you messed up in? How can a mess-up be good?"

Alex snorted. "When it results in your oldest child."

**

At around two am, Philip and Theo climbed into their car, after declining Eliza's offer to stay the night.

"Hey," said Theo, smiling and turning to face her fiancé.

"Hey," he replied, facing her, only inches away.

"We're getting married," she said, her smile growing wider and wider.

"I can't believe it," he chuckled, then leaned in and closed the distance between them, planting a kiss on her lips.

When they finally pulled away, Theodosia turned the key in the ignition, then rested her hand on the center console. Philip took it in his and brought her knuckles to his lips, kissing them softly.

"I love you," he said. "More than anything."

"I love you too," she replied. "To the moon and back.


	2. Bonus Chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pip and Theo's engagement announcement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter that I wrote a really long time ago and forgot about!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Plz tell me if you liked this formatting, I might end up posting an entire Instagram-based fic.

**poems-of-pip**  
hey guys, i posted a performance piece of mine on instagram and youtube. check it out!

**

 **@p_ham** _has posted a video._

  
**@p_ham** _The video shows Philip's upper body. He is wearing a light blue button-down and dark blue silk tie, and talking to someone off screen._

**Philip:** What to say to you?  
I love her, we both know it's true.  
So, I've got a question for you:  
Do I have your blessing?

_Aaron Burr steps into the frame and smiles._

**Aaron:** You do.

_Philip and Aaron high five._

_The shot switches to Philip and Theo, each with an arm slung around each other, sitting on a couch, both wearing casual clothes._

**Philip:** I asked Theo to marry me!

 **Theo:** I said yes!

_Angie appears from behind the couch._

**Angie:** I accidentally ruined everything and forced Philip to propose earlier than intended!

_The camera turns to reveal Axl._

**Axl:** I'm filming this!

_It goes back to the three on the couch._

**All:** Yay!

**

 **p_ham** Y'know, just casual stuff. @a.burr @the_big_O @angelikickyourass @axleander

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: picture this attached to Theo's tweet: https://instagram.com/p/6NSK0Jm_N6/


End file.
